Things I didn't know existed (part 100):

"BrownMiataDieselWagon" (opporamblings) 08/12/2014 at 21:36 • Filed to: None

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Today driving home, a I saw a Mercedes-Benz GL-class merge onto the highway, but I could tell immediately that this one was different. First thing I noticed about it was the sweet exhaust note. I thought to myself, there's no way it's coming from this thing. As it accelerated and passed me, I saw what I thought was an AMG badge on the back. (Didn't get a picture because this thing was FAST) When I got home, I did some googling and apparently the GL63 AMG has been a thing since 2013.

Crazy specs: 550 hp, 560 lb-ft torque, 5812 lb curb weight, 0-60 in 4.8 seconds

...and seating for 7

Other than being the most insane production 7-passenger car, what is this thing's purpose? Seriously, why does it exist?

Brian Silvestro > BrownMiataDieselWagon 08/12/2014 at 21:38

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It exists for executives to buy their trophy wives so they can show off to other trophy wives that their husbands have enough money to buy them it.

MIATAAAA > BrownMiataDieselWagon 08/12/2014 at 21:40

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Octomom Drag Races.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > BrownMiataDieselWagon 08/12/2014 at 21:43

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Executive husbands (or wives) buy them for their significant other to show off to other executive's significant others, showing that they're better than them because they've got an AMG model compared to their BlueTEC Diesel.

Manuél Ferrari > Brian Silvestro 08/12/2014 at 21:46

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Exactly! This is THE trophy wife's trophy around here.

Trophy wife 1: "what kind of car do you have? My husband bought me a new GL diesel"

Trophy wife 2: "oh that's cute honey, I have the AMG one"

Trophy wife 3: "oh my God. This is so wrong. I am talking to Steve about this tonight. Either he gets me the AMG too or I'm filing for divorce."

Manuél Ferrari > MIATAAAA 08/12/2014 at 21:47

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X-D

mcseanerson > BrownMiataDieselWagon 08/12/2014 at 21:47

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Did you know you can get the Kia Forte5 with a turbo?

BrownMiataDieselWagon > Brian Silvestro 08/12/2014 at 21:48

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This thing is fast on paper and seems even faster in real life (when you see how bloated it looks). I don't think it's safe for trophy wives who gossip on their cell phones while driving to have all that horsepower.

Brian Silvestro > Manuél Ferrari 08/12/2014 at 21:50

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LOL PERFECT!!!

BrownMiataDieselWagon > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 08/12/2014 at 21:51

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^ Not safe for trophy wives to have access to all that horsepower, especially for a vehicle that size.

BrownMiataDieselWagon > MIATAAAA 08/12/2014 at 21:53

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Ha! I would like to see a drag race between this and the Bisimoto Odyssey!

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Brian Silvestro 08/12/2014 at 21:54

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Does that stop me from wanting one? Of course not!

quarterlifecrisis > BrownMiataDieselWagon 08/12/2014 at 21:54

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It's no different than the fact that I had a 450+ hp 4 door brick of an SUV, or the people I know that have put blowers on their Suburbans and Yukons....because power is the answer. Always.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > BrownMiataDieselWagon 08/12/2014 at 21:55

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Sadly, there's nothing stopping them.

Even though the only one I've ever seen was holding up traffic in the passing lane doing EXACTLY 60 MPH. Using all that HP they definitely weren't.

Manuél Ferrari > BrownMiataDieselWagon 08/12/2014 at 21:56

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Yes but then again no GL is safe for trophy wives who gossip on their cell phones!

I am always so scared when I see some lady closing in on me in her giant SUV. My 911 is the perfect size and shape car for them to run over! The back would be like a little ramp

BrownMiataDieselWagon > mcseanerson 08/12/2014 at 21:56

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I read about this on Oppo yesterday!

mcseanerson > BrownMiataDieselWagon 08/12/2014 at 22:06

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Me too! I didn't know before then.

Big Daddy Handsome > BrownMiataDieselWagon 08/12/2014 at 22:48

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Oh, it's not, but that's not stopping anyone.

Charliespong > BrownMiataDieselWagon 08/12/2014 at 23:12

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I live in Saudi and there are hundreds of these things. Saudis have BIG families.

BrownMiataDieselWagon > Charliespong 08/12/2014 at 23:23

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Saudi Arabia is the capital of cool cars.

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > BrownMiataDieselWagon 08/12/2014 at 23:36

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They exist because some engineers raided the parts bin. See also, R63 AMG. The fiercest van this side of the Rhine... Here's a picture...

Vicente Esteve > BrownMiataDieselWagon 08/13/2014 at 00:27

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The most insane 7 seater? No.

The Audi Q7 V12 TDI IS. V12 Diesel. No, it isn't economical like a diesel. No, it doesn't sound as awesome as the V8 in the Merc, yes its heavier and a lot more expensive. There is LITERALLY no reason other than the badge. But trophy wives don't drive it, because only supremely cool people do.